confusion247's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dreamer I've been thinking about a lot of crap lately, really mostly about Layne for some reason. I always think I ruined her life for whatever reason. I had this crazy dream the other night. She and Chris had broken up and she was dating this alumni, Kevin Pecor (random), well, Layne and I went to visit Angel who was working behind the counter at a gas station, when we left some lady had stolen from my car and felt bad so she gave the stuff back. Then I was talking to Layne in the parking lot of like Wal-Mart where she told me that she and Blake had had sex. Then I told her we could be friends again because Kevin and I talked the second day of the auction two weeks ago and everything was cool. Then she told me that he told her the same story except in his story he punched me....random. Anyway, the point of all of this is...I've been thinking a lot about the past and how much happier I was. But I always do that. I always think about how much happier I was and how I won't be that way. Then I was thinking about how I never thought things would be the way they are today, and it gave me this big burst of hope. I've been so lonely lately and upset about everything and dreading tomorrow, but, if I never thought life would be the way it is right now, then that shows maybe in a few monthes or a year life will be great. Things will go the way I want them to and I'll be happy. I really hope I am...I really do. I dream a lot. I decided to get one of those gay little dream journals. I even dreamt in the car this morning about Larn and a friend of mine from fourth grade, Scotty Payne. I forgot that kid even existed until I woke up in the car. So, I guess I'm a dreamer. Graduation...10 weeks. 10:53 p.m. - 2005-03-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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