confusion247's Diaryland Diary

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Bitch Bitch Bitch.

I want to lash out. I want to fucking scream. All I do is want, which is maybe why I'm always in such a fucked up bad mood.

There are so many things I want to do with my life. I want to travel, I want to see the world, I want the world to be mine. I want to have my creativity pour from under doors...I want my life to be everything I want it to be. But there are responsibilities placed on my shoulders. I'm supposed to be famous. I'm supposed to be successful. I'm supposed to do everything there is to do.

What do I want? I want to drive and drive until I don't know what road signs to follow. I want to write novels and novels of things people should know. I want to write a movie that will inspire everyone in America and all over the world to stop being terrible or to keep being terrible as long as there is beauty in the world. I want friends who share my views. I want to actually carry on a fucking conversation with someone who isn't a complete moron, or maybe I just want to talk about something other than waht I already know. I want to learn.

Summer post sophomore year I started doing lots of drugs and getting in trouble a lot and I felt like I was living life 150%. I loved it. I got suspended, I did lots of drugs, got drunk all the time, shoplifted, listened to music, wrote, and loved everything. Now I have my act together and I fucking hate living.

No. I don't hate living. Living is exactly what I want to do and I think I'd love it.

I'm pretty sure I'm not applying to college.

1:26 a.m. - 2005-03-06

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