confusion247's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just Danny. Everyone already knows about me and I don't care anymore. So I was dating this guy John Thomas. We met at the Cordova play, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. We talked a very little bit and I was quite interested in him and as it turned out he felt the same. Great. So Eula tells me he gave her his number to give me. I call him. We talked Sunday morning for like 2 hours, we go out that night, it turns out we have a lot in common. I feel like he could be the first guy that I actually have a real relationship with. He was dating around which was fine, because it's dumb to get tied down immediately. Everything is good, right? Right. Well, two days later (Tuesday night) I call him around 8 and he's at the mall and says "Well, I'm at the mall, why don't you come meet me? I have some stuff I need to talk to you about and I want you to meet my friend." So I'm thinking ::Well, he's probably ready to settle down with someone and it's not me, and he wants me to meet the person, that's fine, I don't really care, it's not like I was attatched:: So I go and meet him at the mall, and he's with this guy who isn't real attractive so I'm thinking ::John Thomas is one of the most attractive guys I've ever seen, why is he going for this guy?:: So John Thomas Walks with me and tells me "You're really great, and I liked you, and I thought something could have happened, but I met someone, and I feel like I could be falling in love, I've never felt like this before, yadda ydda yadda, oh, but it's not that guy." Well, I smiled and I said "that's what I Figured, but I'm really happy for you." And I was I was totally fine with it. Until...Well, as it turned out he planned on ending things with me and then going on a double date with me! What the hell. You don't end something with someone and then expect them to go on a double date with you and your new boyfriend. Especially if the person you're hooking me up with is ugly. So we're in the van together (JT and I) and he's telling me all this. Well, earlier that day I had gone to Borders in search of an artbook for him. He told me he liked abstract art a lot, so I found this really great Van Goh book, and bought it for him. So after he says all this I just said "It's fine, by the way, I bought that book for you today." I kind of wanted to make him feel bad, but I felt bad for making him feel bad so I said "it was cheap, so don't worry about it." The night wound up awkward as hell. The guy he tried hooking me up with is not only ugly but also dumb, and it's Davids exboyfriend Phillips ex. Great. Oh and did I mention the boy I think his name was Corey IMed David and tried to say we were talking. Hell no, we're not talking. Bull shit. I'm rarely attracted to guys, at least not on the level I'm attracted to girls on, but I was really attracted to John Thomas. I just hate it that nothing ever seems to work out for me. This is always how things end. At least relationship wise. It could work out for me, but it doesn't. I know a lot of girls I Could have a good relationship with, but, to tell the truth every since Shelley I've had this fear of dating girls. And I don't know, I've told a few people this, Shelley is the only girl I want to date right now, but luckily I have another option open, which is guys. Too bad guys suck and are ten times worse then girls as it turns out. Oh, and guys just want to date themselves, because this new guy John Thomas is with, they look quite similar and act quite similar. I wasn't right for him anyway, he's like a pretty boy, and I'm, well, I'm not. I'm down to Earth. He's really attractive, and once again, well, I'm not. I'm just Danny. ::sigh:: I hate this. I'm not even upset about it, I'm just upset I can't have a good relationship with anyone. I'm going to try to go up to Clarksville this weekend, I really want to see Shelley...I had a dream the other night that we got back together, she called me and said she missed me, and was tired of Jon and well, she wanted us to be together again. And I wasn't able to talk, and then I woke up...I miss her so much. So so so so much. I'm done for now. Danny. 11:42 a.m. - 2003-11-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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