confusion247's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- most pathetic guy ever Tonight was kind of weird. Definitely not in a bad way. Hell, I suppose it wasn't even weird. I didn't get to go to Clarksville because Caiden sucks (not really, I'll get over it)...so I stayed in Germantown. I could have gone to Clarksville too but dumb me just assumed that Mary Catherine couldn't take me, so I left and when she called I was gone...I'm so damn. So instead I went over to Boomers with Cara. We watched a lot of different musicals. I enjoy some musicals and luckily we skipped most parts and went to our Favorite songs. So we watched Cell Block Tango about forty times..ahh, I want all of them, now. And then we watched Caras tape of Britney Spears kissing Madona..growl. That's all I can say, wait, that and "oh shit.." Then right before I left I started talking to Boomer, and I look at him completely differently now. Which isn't a bad thing...I don't know how I view him. For the longest time I thought he had this picture perfect family and everything. Hmm, I don't know how to explain it. I just look at him as being about ten times better of a person now. I understand him a bit more. Hmm...I don't know. So anyway. I miss Shelley more than ever right now. Once again: all that I an think about. Why does she have to be with John...I think one of the reasons I wanted to go up there this weekend was so that she could see me and maybe be reminded of what we had and then we would go off and live happily ever after..I'm so dumb. I don't know why the thought even crossed my mind. I know nothing will ever happen with us again. And I know she doesn't care about me, and probably never will...I just don't really want to believe it. I hate talking to her and here about how she goes out and yadda yadda yadda. It seemed like when she and I were together she wasn't allowed to do anything ever and she always just stayed home...maybe I just made her that unhappy. I think I'm the most pathetic guy ever. danny 10:42 p.m. - 2003-08-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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