confusion247's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a more possitive outlook So, I've been thinking, again. I still stick by the fact that we truely are nothing. But it's okay. Because perhaps that is how it is supposed to be in life. We all make a big deal out of nothing, but that's just our human nature. And I'm okay with that. I've also been thinking about the last entry I wrote. I Wrote a lot of harsh shit in that, and I admit that was what I was thinking at the time. But perhaps I shouldn't have wrote it for the whole world to see. Or at least for the people who have my journal acount, so I'm concidering getting a new journal.... Last thing, I admit I do miss "the old times." But that's what they are, they are the old times. And no matter what I do, I can never have remake those memories. I can just form new ones. I admit I'm not as close to the people I concidered myself closest to, but that's okay too. Because those people are the reason that I am who I am today. Without them, I wouldn't be Daniel Lee Gomez, the A.I. wannabee Mexican. I'd be some other guy, or I'd still be trying my hardest to keep up with the latest fashions, and seeing if I can get a date with that cheerleader bitch. (not to say ALL cheerleaders are bitches). I still have Nan and Amanda, and I love them both to death. And I do still have Brandon and Rachel, I really don't feel that they've "abandoned" me or anything else, I think we just have a different relationship now, which is cool, people do change, for the good and bad. It's always an equal balance. I know I have changed a whole lot. And it's okay, because it's who I'm now happy with being. I also miss Nik, I suppose I really just miss Freshmen year a lot. I'm still not over the move, and it causes problems. But hey, I do form new memories. Last time I went to Clarksville I went to Nashville at 5 in the morning with some of the greatest people I know, and I had a damn good time, and I now ahave a new story to tell. Good times never stop, but in the words have a killer artist "the times are a changin'" And I'm okay with that. I just get depressed really easily. I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar, but I won't use that as an excuse. I was going to see a psychologist soon, but I Decided not to. I don't want someone else analyzing the way I think and trying to tell me how I should think. That's not how life should go, but it is how it goes. I think it would be a lot easier to just "jump on the bandwagon" and give in to conformity rather than continually try to "rebel." But nontheless, sorry about the last entry, it was how I Felt at the same time, and I'm glad I wrote it because without it I wouldn't have figured this out. There's always a bright side and a dark side to everything, and that my friends, will never change. Love to all, Danny 11:36 a.m. - 2003-08-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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