confusion247's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm so alone without you I had a pretty killer weekend, excpet the whole my freaking out thing. Geez, my mood swings are getting worse and worse. I'm confused, I've never shown any signs of instability or anything else before, sure I've had my depressed days, but so does everyone right? Everyone contemplates suicide. I'm sure of it. I'm not weird, but lately it's been crazy...Neely suggested that I start taking medication. No. I refuse to take a permanent drug. But I freaked out Saturday night at Sonic, I got really anxious and nervous in that big group, and I walked away and called Shelley like a moron...she confuses me so much. Patrick made me so happy when he told me that she really does love me, and I cried. Because I truely love her in return. But when I ask her about it I don't get a real answer. I'm confused as all hell. If she just wants us to not have labels thats fine. I just need to know so I'm not worried about her dating anyone else or anything such as that... Brandon upset the hell out of me this weekend. He's supposed to be my best friend in the entire world. and yet he doesn't talk to me. I don't know what the hell is going on in his life. It's like within the past month or so he just finds me annoying or something. All he said to me last night was: you look sick or angry, and I said "okay" and that was all. He didn't bother asking what was wrong with me or anything. He didn't say shit. That's the main reason for being upset last night. I hate being alone, and last night I felt lonlier than ever. Shelley never really comforts me, she's not so compassionate, all she said was "you should get some sleep." I'm crazy. Well, I think I'm going to go. I'm insane. hearts and stars, Danny 5:02 p.m. - 2003-07-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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