confusion247's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Things are changing Geez, I really haven't wrote in a long time. Well, I've been away at Bridge Builders for the past week. It was such an amazing experience. I don't feel like going into details because there are way too many to go into. I'll just say that I made 23 new best friends, and I'm now apart of something that will last the next two years, and after that I'll be a counciler at the camp. WoW, it was amazing, I'd suggest it to anyone. Well, a lot has been happening, my summers been full of sneaking out and trips. Well, I'm still sneaking out but I've been completely clean for about a week and a half now. I'm quitting everything, all drugs, drinking, and smoking cigarrettes. I'm even trying to quit cussing even. That ones the toughest, but I've been good. I realized this huge change in me, and I don't want to be the person I am. I want to be the person I appear to be. I want to treat people right. It's going pretty well. It all started because of Shelley...I can't even look at a girl anymore without feeling sick. I've had the opportunities to get with people down here or date people or just "hook" up. But I don't. Why? She's the only thing I can think of. She's the only one i feel anything for. I would change everything about myself for her. I'm even concidering *trying* to move back. But to give up my entire life here to move back to a town where EVERYONE's different, just for a girl. No, not just for a girl, for the most amazing girl I know, who I can see myself with in the future. I'd be willing to though. She doesn't want long distance, I completely understand that. But, I'm not selfless enough to give up my entire life down here. But I suppose, I"ll just have to see what happens. Plus, it's not like I won't be able to drive soon and as soon as I can I'm going to be driving up there every weekend if we're together. I'll never cheat again...physically or emotionally. If Shelley and I did get back together I would wnat it to be completely open, no secrets, no cover-ups. I'd want us to start over, I understand she wouldn't be able to forgive that, but everything else I think she could. And we'll start over, and have the beautiful relationship we both know we would have...I think a big factor in us getting back together is hearing everyone saying "how could you take him back." This is so complicated. I wouldn't be returning to Clarksville if it weren't for my brother. I had planned on not going back this summer, I have no real reason to. All my friends have changed, even the area has change. Even Rachel broke her edge. Which isn't a big deal at all, because Rachel isn't some huge druggie. But everyone else up there doesn't know when to say no, They don't know where to draw the line. Things are changing everywhere.... stars, Danny 2:26 p.m. - 2003-07-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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